Australia
First things first – what’s our entry like? Well, it’s actually pretty good – that’s why we're currently second favourites according to the bookies. Dami Im has gone into full-blown diva-mode for power-ballad The Sound of Silence, and it’s a showstopping number that’s sure to attract votes. Win it win? Maybe, maybe not – but it’ll definitely give us another good finish. And we should probably also remember that if we did win, there’d be plenty of disgruntled people across Europe who don’t even think we should be there in the first place.
I also want to highlight the absolutely inspired madness of Australia’s jury panel this year. It features not only Monica from Playschool, former Spick and Specks panellist Myf Warhurst and former Idol host James Mathison, but also…Shannon Noll! Incredible. Also, Lee Lin Chin is back as our spokesperson, which is just as it should be. Douze points SBS!
The Favourites
So if Dami doesn’t win, who will? All the betting money is currently on Russia, who have absolutely thrown the kitchen sink at their entry this year after finishing second in 2015. They’re faithfully following Sweden’s recipe for success from last year: a handsome national superstar (Sergey Lazarev), an upbeat pop number and mind-boggling special effects. But in reality it all comes across as a bit desperate – we’ll see what viewers across Europe think.
Currently sitting at number three in the betting is Ukraine. This is a controversial one – Jamala is singing an intense ballad about how her Crimean Tatar family was deported by Stalin in 1944. Cheery stuff. Now, I get the fact that people really want to see an epic showdown between Russia and Ukraine given all the recent political upheaval, but unfortunately this song is just a depressing dirge – and despite rave reports from the press room in Stockholm, I don’t see how pissed voters at parties across Europe will be sending it their 12 points.
Dark Horses
In a complete turn up for the books, France has also been performing fairly well with the bookies this year. Amir is an incredibly charming performer and his song J’ai Cherche is ridiculously catchy. Of course, he’s hampered by the fact that he’s a member of the Big 5, so only gets one shot at performing his song for the voters at home, but you never know what might happen at Eurovision. Also, I must confess that this is my favourite song from this year – and the film clip is super cute.
Another dark horse has to be The Netherlands, who have returned to the country music formula that worked so well for them in 2014 when they finished second, seemingly out of nowhere. Douwe Bob is also very charming, and his smooth country-tinged number stands out as being something completely different from everything else in the competition. One to watch.
Notable Absences
Back at the start of the year, a very early favourite with the bookies was Poland. Why? Because people had heard one of the songs up for the national selection final and decided it was so good it would take out the entire contest. So why is Poland not still dominating the betting? Well, because they completely Father-Tedded themselves and sent Michael Bolton-alike Michael instead of Rihanna-alike Margaret. Clearly the Poland was spooked by the prospect of having to host the contest if they won, and so chose their equivalent of My Lovely Horse instead. Oh Motherland, you have let me down once again! Anyway, please enjoy Margaret’s Cool Me Down and think what might have been.
Also thinking about what might have been is Romania, who got the flick from this year’s contest at the last minute due to unpaid debts to the EBU. Ah, Romania…they’ve previously offered us onstage angle-grinders, duelling pianos and a falsetto vampire and this year they were going to give us a bloke who looked like one of the potato-men from Doctor Who singing musical theatre. A sad loss.
Car Crashes
It wouldn’t be Eurovision without a couple of absolute car crashes. Already out of the competition is San Marino’s Serhat, or as Sam Pang dubbed him during Semi Final 1, the Singing Dentist. He jazzed up his song for the performance in Stockholm, adding a disco beat, some 80s inspired backing dancers and a creepy-uncle-at-a-wedding suit, but please enjoy the original, slowed-down version, complete with monocle.
Much has also been said about Belarus’s naked dancing with wolves. Yes, it’s just as bad/amazing as you feared - but also won't be joining us in the final.
The Big Show
I also have to mention what a fab job this year's hosts, the inestimable Petra Mede and last year's winner Måns Zelmerlow, are doing. Truly, Sweden are the ultimate Eurovision nation and that's why they're the absolute best at staging the event. Petra and Måns are funny and glam, and I wish they would host everything on TV. I mean, check out this incredible Broadway-style opener from Semi Final 2.
And they've got even more up their sleeves for tomorrow's Grand Final, including an interval act by Justin Timberlake (!) and more fun-poking at Eurovision stereotypes. I can't wait!
So that’s that. Don’t forget to get up super early on tomorrow morning (5:00 am to be precise) so you can cast your vote. Fingers crossed for Dami!
